We all have them. We face them and shy away, some times get stuck in them, toss them aside or eventually (hopefully) face them head on like a raging knight. I had lots of fears growing up: being in the spotlight (I avoided most team sports and sports in general so that I would not be seen… I dreaded making a mistake and standing out when everybody could see me), heights (ugh), flying (that happened after 9-11), people that make me feel uneasy, and as of late I have an irrational fear of dying.
Ever since Ethan was born, my mortality has been constantly on my mind and its worst when I’m tired. As a new mom, that’s a constant especially these last few weeks, with Ethan’s two top teeth coming in. But as I have struggled with this, talked to Terry about it and being in the process of reading a great book about how to stop worrying by Dale Carnegie, I came to terms with it. One of the best pieces of parenting advice I picked up was to be the best version of yourself for your kid to look up to. You are their everything. And with that in mind, I realized that I needed to get over my fear of dying. I can’t let Ethan grow up with me being worried about this. It is inevitable yes, and we all don’t know when it will happen but being absorbed by your eventual demise is certainly not the way to live. I try to picture myself as a much older person, and envision what I would regret. I think I would most likely regret the time I spent worrying about things. Worrying does not do anything, it’s not an act of prevention, nor is it an act of solution. It just ages you and hurts your insides.
As for my other fears, I have been facing them head-on (like a knight!) for awhile now. I love public speaking, heights, well I cope (I once went to the top of the Eiffel Tower alone, clutching my blackberry bbm-ing a friend back home to distract myself). I love to travel so flying is an accessory to that. My Oma (grandmother) told me to never be afraid of flying, to never let it hold me back. So I try to always keep that in mind and I also found a great website that has all the stats and why flying is, as we all know, very safe. As for other people, I just smile at them and look at them in their eyes.
When I catch myself putting something off, “fearing” it, I tell myself to just jump right in. And if you’re having a hard time doing this, I urge you to read Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. It is really helpful.
Facing my fears is one my rules for life, you can read more about the guidelines I follow to have an awesome life.